We often believe that everyone feels what we feel when we hear certain words. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Words are like little bags filled with emotional intensity, and each of us has the same bags, but we fill them with different weights, based on our different experiences:
Example : Some females may hear ‘hey honey’ and laugh or think it’s cute. Other females hear the same ‘hey honey’ and feel disrespected and offended because they think of it as something you say to diminish they authority, and they feel deeply offended through these little words. For them it’s the same intensity you might feel when you hear a word like like ‘whore’ or ‘dickhead’ .
We can never know how every single individual is evaluating every word before we say it, that’s why it is a game changer when we’re aware of their reaction (body language, tonality,..) . Communication is hearing what’s not being said.
Each of us has experiences in life which are loaded with huge emotions for us. Can be extremely positive ones, can be ones filled with anxiety or anger.
These raw emotions are pure potential fuel. I call it emotional raw mass; All the intense emotions we’ve experienced in our lives through all the events that we’ve already been through get stacked. It’s like we unlock new levels of emotional accessibility with each rough time, and once unlocked- we have them for live. If, and how you use it is completely up to yourself. That’s why it’s ‘potential’ power.
Power of course can also destroy when we don’t know how to manage it. Especially those of us who have been through some pretty hard stuff, have developed incredible emotional raw mass in them, and when directed, they’ll be able to lead and influence like no other.
It is on us to learn to manage our memories in ways, that we catalyze it into pure strength. By seeing where we did succeed, even if it didn’t seem like it at first. By seeing what we actually got out of situations that benefits us immensely, even- or better said especially when it was incredibly hard. You’ve been through the painful part; now it’s time to pick the fruits.
It’s not like you do it once and it all falls into place forever- like working your body out, this is training. And over time it does more for you than any abdominal workout could ever do.
What happens is not the deal; it’s about the meaning we create about it.
Most people are not that self conscious, not that hungry that they want to re-think what they’ve learned about the world in their past. The stories they’ve adopted about what things mean; What they’re about, what’s pretty what’s ugly, what’s right whats wrong,.. . Let’s be honest after a long day of school/work, how many people are ready to work on themselves?
So, people get influenced by other people everyday and adopt parts of their worldview- BUT what kind of people are those? Do you want people you like or love to be influenced by some guys who are barely able to pull themselves through the day, and never really thought about things themselves ?
The truth is NO ONE is coming and teaches people what you want them to know, to grow in directions they deserve: YOU’VE GOT TO DO IT or it won’t happen!
When? There’s always the right time to have massive impact on people. Talk to them. Spread some knowledge along the way. It’s totally up to you how you do it or which style you prefer.
Every time you’re in their presence is a possibility to have more impact on them then anybody else does! You have very little competition – so few people care enough to do so.
Are you ready to have huge impact, to be a trendsetter?
How do we create our model of the world?
We all start out in life adopting the worldview of the people close to us like our parents, siblings, family, .. We suck it all in like a sponge because we don’t know what anything is. We begin empty and are thriving to get filled with meanings/stories about things.
The second ‘stage’ in many countries is usually some form of educational system like kindergarte, school, private school . There we’re told again what things mean and how they work.
This is quiet the base most of us start out in life. And when these stories are not being challenged too much along the way, they simply stay until they do. Which is in many cases for most people : never.
A very few people start to get interrested in new sources of worldviews like books from individual thinkers, podcasts, seminars, sub cultures,.. . In this case we again ‘copy’ the worldview of someone else. That’s amazing, because most people do not move away from the traditional way of thinking (aka conditioning) .
Being there, some of us get hungry for new knowledge, new perspectives, new meanings; We expose ourselves to different worldviews and we start to understand that nothing is really written in stone in a particular way. We get a multitude of different worldviews and opinions on things and start to rethink what things mean to us. ‘Which stories we’ve adopted might not so fixed as we thought? What else could this mean?’ We get even more hungry and start to form our own individual consciously chosen worldview.
For me it’s that with each useful distinction and idea I get exposed to, I know I become more valuable and clear about ways that can support me and other people in our lives.
It’s invaluable. This is how to learn to think and discover by ourselves .
We as human beings are constantly comparing ourselves , it’s unavoidable, it’s part of our psychology .
The question is how we do it ; a) Compare ourselves to other people ( which is not a fair thing to do to ourselves, because others have whole other levels/stages of developments, other circumstances , and and and .
b) (My suggestion: ) Comparing us to our past selves , in which ways have we developed , how am I doing now in this area compared to what I used to do back in the days ? This is a highly empowering AND a fairly measurable way to compare ourselves . Try it. It will change A LOT .
We can’t control much of what’s happening around us. Therefore we have the unique gift to be in absolute control of our emotional state at any time or circumstance of day.
To unleash this power we have to commit to stop blaming people, period. Blaming gives away our responsibility, and with it goes our control .
Every time we take complete responsibility for our decisions and our emotional life, we have all the certainty we need in life .
A very useful mindset is, that you are an athlete. Doesn’t have to be sporty at all; The thing that really drives us, whatever that might be for you- isn’t it as important as an athlete’s job? Why not prepare for our goals every single day mentally a couple of minutes in the morning, just like an athlete’s warm up ?
I challenge you to try it for three days. Feel the drive, the feeling this creates for you when you really conjure up the BEAST in you. You’ll feel that you’re able to handle any daily ‘games’ doesn’t matter what the context is . Don’t just hope to wake up ‘with the right foot’, make sure you do by creating it !